5 Ways to Really Piss Off a New Mom

by MyDadBlog on May 3, 2009

in Funny,Money Saving Tips,Pregnancy

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Is it something I said?

Is it something I said?

After just having our third child and reliving the joys of seeing my wife severely irate over everything from seemingly innocuous statements to outright stupidity, I thought I’d share some of my personal favorite behaviors and statements that can really piss off a new mom.  Hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes and those of others close to us that have sent my wife from the happy mom to a head-spinning, green pea soup barfing, exorcist-like, speaking in tongues demon in a flash.

  1. Yawn and tell her how tired you are – This is a classic statement that’s liable to send her into a complete frenzy – hide all objects, sharp and blunt alike, and run for cover.  What, like getting up 3 times a night while I sleep like a baby causes resentment?
  2. Sleep in while she’s up with the other kids at 7am – Oh boy, when this happened, I had to live down evil stares, snarls and overt insults the rest of the day.  It sure did feel good sleeping late that day, but I paid the price.  I thought about asking her if she cared if I took a nap, (haha), but I knew she was in no mood for light humor.
  3. Call a new mom at 7 in the morning for some insipid conversation on the one morning the baby’s asleep at that time and upon the obvious displeasure on the other end of the line, say, “Oh, I figured you were up already with the baby!”  While my wife’s not a spiteful person and quickly forgets such gaffes, I thought it would be fitting to pick up the phone at 1AM, 3AM, then again at 5AM to call back looking to discuss last night’s American Idol and say, “Oh, I was up with the baby, so I figured I’d give you a ring!  You know, like when you called me at 7AM the other morning?”
  4. When she asks you to do a diaper, say, “Can’t you get this one? I don’t really know what I’m doing yet”.  I used this excuse once and caught hell. I’m used to boys.  We have two of them.  When the girl came a few weeks ago, I’d been using the excuse that I didn’t know what I’m doing, how stuff works down there, etc.  Well, the grace period’s over and I’m now well-versed on wiping front to back as well; it’s not rocket science.  I can “feel her pain”.  Just once in a while, it’s nice to not have to do a diaper.
  5. Ask why she didn’t get an errand done during the day – or why dinner’s not ready.  This is one that’s liable to result in a trip to the ER.  With getting this one to school, that one to speech lessons, nursing 8 times a day and getting the dog to the vet, what they heck, getting my clothes to the dry-cleaner shouldn’t have been a big deal, right?  Well, OK, I shouldn’t have even asked.

So, let’s hear it Moms and Dads

What are some of your favorite stories of anger in the new mom phase?

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